Food jokes
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they got plane pizza instead of cheese!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans have family size chip bags? Because they have no family to have them with.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
Bunger.
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.
Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!