Fly jokes

What bee is terrible at flying? Kobe.

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

What do you call a bird with no feet? A fly.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

What's the worst time to fly a plane?

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

What do birds and planes have in common?

They both fly into building windows.

"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."

- Sun Tzu

People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.

What does a terrorist do when they see a twin?

They fly a plane at them.

When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

Why did Sally not come home from school today?

Because she died by a flying brick!

What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.

What do you call a flying Aboriginal?

Boong 747.

Why do seagulls not fly over the bay?

Because if they did, they'd be bay gulls.

Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.

People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.

Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.

Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.