Fly jokes

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!

Damn, the terrorists from CS:GO really do be learning to fly.

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.

I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.

What bee is terrible at flying? Kobe.

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

What do you call a bird with no feet? A fly.

What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?

They both be flying??

Why did the 767 fly into the towers?

Because a310 dared it to.

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.

What do you call a flying Aboriginal?

Boong 747.

Why do seagulls not fly over the bay?

Because if they did, they'd be bay gulls.

Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.

People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.

Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.

Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.

What is a home that can fly?

A magic house!

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?

Because it got pissed off!