Why do birds fly upside down over Poland? There's nothing worth shiting on.
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO
Your so skinny if someone farts on your direction you will fly away
What is the difference between a tree and a dog? A dog can walk and a tree can not walk
Why everyone trying to make a big deal out of this my family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers
Little Jonny what you like air plane how because you fly fast and jump high
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook she literally posts everyday but this day was sort kind of a hard hit. so what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85 and i dont want to explain what milf means but she got a lot of DM ฬs from a lot of old guys. BUT, This one exact guy names Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do a adult film. idk what that is i think its a adult movie of course so she says yes and flys out to San Diego And she never came back after yesterday. and to YOU Johnny Sins my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be a adult movie and not a Por...
What is a magic car ๐ ? One โ๏ธ that flys
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches , Iโm gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish !
Then there is a bear , he thinks if that fly drops six inches , that fish jumps up - Iโm gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish !
This huntsman also thinks to him self ๐ง if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps up , bear runs out eats the fish . Iโm gonna shoot that fucking bear .
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse , who also thinks to him self ๐ง if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps , bear runs , huntsman shoots ,
Heโs bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket !!!!
Iโm gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile ..,
thereโs This cat !!!โ He sees whatโs going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings ...
Anyway bang ๐ฅ the fly drops six inches . Fish jumps up . Bear grabs the fish . Huntsman shoots the fucking bear ,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE !!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat Slips over him ( stacks it ) cat falls in the river ...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS .............
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet )
WALLOP ... try remembering all that in A pub pissed . Xx
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
There were 5 people on an airplane. 1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, A good, solid 1 hour in, The pilot comes out and says "Ok guys, I have good news and bad news, Bad News is the plane is gonna crash, The good news is that I have 4 parachutes" The pilot says to his passengers, " Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes, People depend on me" Took a parachute and went out. The businessman stands up and says " Well I'm a businessman, I run companies" Took a parachute and went out The smartest person in the world stands up and says " I'm the smartest person in the world, No one is smarter than me" Took a parachute and went out Now the minister says to the school child " Well God has given me a good life, I want you to take the last parachute" and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says " Why are you smiling?!, We're about to die!!!!" and the school child says to the minister "Well actually not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag
I apologize if those jokes didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and different people have different tastes when it comes to jokes. I'll try my best to share a few more jokes with you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts! What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead! Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together! Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be called bagels! What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner! Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up! What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! I hope these bring a bit more amusement. Let me know if there's anything else I can assist you with!
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner! Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts! Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together! Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them! How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb! Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired! What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta! What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs! Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up! Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts! What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me! Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels! Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems! How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots! What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer! I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. My first time in the air, my instructor informed me but he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane, and his buddy says "well did you jump?"the guy says yeah, a little at first.
My friend Amir didnโt have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building. So he had a much better flying record.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone
Ah (gas, gas, gas) Ah Do you like my car? Guess you're ready 'cause I'm waiting for you It's gonna be so exciting Got this feeling really deep in my soul Let's get out, I wanna go, come along, get it on Gonna take my car, gonna sit in Gonna drive along 'til I get you 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?) Gas, gas, gas I'm gonna step on the gas Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero Gas, gas, gas I'm gonna run as a flash Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show Don't be lazy 'cause I'm burning for you It's like a hot sensation Got this power that is taking me out Yes, I've got a crush on you, ready, now, ready, go Gonna take my car, gonna sit in Gonna drive alone 'til I get you 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?) Gas, gas, gas I'm gonna step on the gas Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero Gas, gas, gas I'm gonna run as a flash Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show Gonna take my car, do you like my car? 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?) Gas, gas, gas I'm gonna step on the gas Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero Gas, gas, gas I'm gonna run as a flash Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show Gas, gas, gas Yeah, yeah, yeah Gas, gas, gas And you'll see the big show Ah
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same. The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr Independent and isists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
