I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"
What do you call a Flying Pilot? Because he can go pee on the plane!
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.
What do you call a flying Aboriginal?
Boong 747.
why are cancer kids so fly
because they got the drip
My friend ask me if bees can fly in the ran i replied not with out thier yellow jackets
I bet Kobe failed flying school.
What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?
"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."
Why can’t orphans fly? Because they’re still winging it.
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?
There's nothing worth shitting on.
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
You're so skinny, if someone farts in your direction, you will fly away.
What is the difference between a tree and a dog? A dog can walk and a tree can not walk
Why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this? My family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers.
Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
What is a magic car? One that flies!
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx
