Flight jokes
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
You might think these jokes are plane.
How do you call a black pilot?
A pilot, you racist.
"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Answer: A FLAP.
What’s New York’s favorite game?
2001 flight simulator.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
Moose jokes, why did the moose fly with an airplane? Because it was a skoose.
A redhead, a dark-haired woman, and a blonde walk into a bar and agree to fly to the sun!
The blonde states, "I agree, let's leave at night!"