Flight jokes
The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
You might think these jokes are plane.
How do you call a black pilot?
A pilot, you racist.
"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Answer: A FLAP.
What’s New York’s favorite game?
2001 flight simulator.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.