Flight jokes

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"

There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

Why are astronauts forgetful?

They're always spacing out.

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.

Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.

What does a bouncy airplane sound like?

Boeing Boeing Boeing...

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.

You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?

'Cause then they know they won't die alone.

Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.

What did the north tower say to the south tower?

"Let’s talk later, I gotta catch a plane."

What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?

He flew up!

I want to be a pilot.

Why do people want to jump off buildings?

Because they want to become Superman.

I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.

The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?