Fives

Fives jokes

Haircut

    • So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

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    • Orphan

    • At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

    Fives memes

    Bar

    • A prostitute walks in the bar, and she goes up to the bartender and says, "I just made $100 and 5¢ sucking dick." The bartender says, "Who gave you the 5¢?" The prostitute says, "They all did!"

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    • Democrat

    • What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?

    The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.

    (Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)

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    • Pussy

    • Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.

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    • Parachute

    • The plane crashed. There are 5 seats in Bordeaux and usually 4 parachute seats.

    The first song goes: "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the world, so fly with the first helmet."

    One of Ivanka Trump's former supporters said: "I was the US President's teacher." And take an umbrella and fly.

    Former US Secretary of State Donald Trump said: "I am the President of the United States. I am the president of the United States of America, not responsible to the people. Design our package and jump."

    "I'm glad," said the next passenger, Popstag, as he approached. Then the boy explained: "I still can't see anyone's problem. The President of the United States is in my bag..."

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    • Alligator

    • A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.

    The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."

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    • Toaster

    • A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.

    After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"

    The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."

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    • Kidney

    • Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

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