Fives jokes
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
Your hairline was playing Sorry!
Pulled the wrong card and moved back five spaces.
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving Five Guys before it became a restaurant!
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
"Chris, I just saw five fat people, and you are one of them."
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
Isn't having depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?
He left him hanging.
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
Why do you always high five the emo person? 'Cause you can't just leave them hanging.
One time I went to high-five someone. I've been left hanging ever since.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
New BBC Geordie police drama set in Honolulu.
Haway Five O.
Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.
Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.