Fives jokes

This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"

An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.

I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I ran five miles today. I ran over 5 miles.

What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left there hanging.

Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left hanging.

You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.

You don't have dreams, you have movies.

Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.

Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!

When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"

An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.

I am Thor.

And next year, I will be five.

A depressed boy went to high five a tree, guess what the tree did?

The tree left him hanging.

What does FNAF stand for? Five Nasty Ass Fools.

Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?

1 scent.

I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?

2 pears.

I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?

3 coppers.

I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?

4 Lincolns.

I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?

NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!

What did a cannibal have as his last meal?

Five guys.

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."

A teacher asked his students a math question.

"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"

After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.

"One dollar!" she said.