Fitness jokes
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
What song genre do the national anthems fit into?
Country.
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.
The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Insomnia.
You'll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that... Well now I can't cry myself to sleep anymore...
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
What do squats eat? Numbers.
Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?
how do you fit 4 gay guys on a stool?
you flip it over.
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
Why isn't the athlete in the full bus? Because she is trying to fit in.
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
Yo mama so hot, she can fit in a mug.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.