Fitness jokes
Never eat more than you can lift.
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
Guess Stephen Hawking never had use for sweatcoin😂
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
Yo mama so fat,
She doesn't fit in a Titan's mouth.
(Attack on Titan; Shingeki no Kyojin)
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
How did Santa fit down the chimney?
He buttered it.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
Yo mama is so unfamiliar with the gym, she calls it James.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."