Fish jokes
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"
Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
What do you call a fish with two knees?
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
What does suck a sucking fish?
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
What do you call a fish and a guitar?
Tunafish.
The Titanic is now a resort for fish.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.