Fish jokes

Q: What is a clown’s favorite fish?

A: The clownfish.

What makes you guys high?

I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.

The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"

The old man replied, "You're the eighth."

Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Answer: Damn!

Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!

One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"

The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"

What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?

They both come in small can.

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

What did the fish say to the other fish? "You have a big butt!"

The other fish said, "We don't have butts......"

My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.

There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!

Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!

This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.

Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,

He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!

I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!

Meanwhile...

there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....

Easy pickings...

Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,

DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!

Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie

The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...

LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...

every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)

WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx

What's yellow and can’t swim?

Your dead fish.

Why can't a blind person eat fish?

They can't see food.

Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"

What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."

Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.

Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"