Fired jokes

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

When you name yourself "Twin Towers" and the terrorist in Kahoot.

Twin Towers are on fire.

The terrorist has a streak of two.

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?

He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing away the bent ones!

Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.

911 what's your emergency?

"Burning in toaster."

"Toast?"

"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"

"Set fire to my forest!"

2001/9/11, that day was fire.

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.

What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?

Forgot to clean little piece of dust.

If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.

Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?

Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.

Store owner: But still, why?

Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.

Store owner: Oh, I get it now!