Fired Jokes

When you name yourself Twin Towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:

"Twin Towers" is on fire🔥

"Terrorist" is on a streak of 2.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.

Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."

Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."

Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"

Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"

Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a few hours. Light him on fire, he'll be warm the rest of his life.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.

Now they call him Hot Wheels.

What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.

What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?

They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.