Fired jokes
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.
I had a job at a banana factory. I got fired because I threw away the bent ones.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
What do you call a wheelchair kid that is on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.