Fired jokes

If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.

Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"

Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"

Priest: "Fuck the children."

Rabbi: "Do we have time?"

Priest: "There's always time for something like that."

What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?

Hot Wheels...

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels.

Got fired from the bank yesterday.

They caught me drinking on the job.

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?

The bear has common sense not to fire it.

What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..

Hot Wheels.

Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.

What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?

Forgot to clean little piece of dust.

Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing away the bent ones!

Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

When you name yourself "Twin Towers" and the terrorist in Kahoot.

Twin Towers are on fire.

The terrorist has a streak of two.