Fired jokes

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."

What is black and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking's after a fire.

What do you call a gay person on fire?

LGBBQ

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheeles.

Somebody shouts "Fire!"

Man 1: Get the children out!

Man 2: F*** the children!

Man 3: We don't have time!

I had sex with my boss's daughter.

I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.

What do you call a gay guy on fire?

LGBBQ

Wood fired pizza?

How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O

Please drop a like.

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"

I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).

What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?

They're both hot, but they're both quiet.

I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?

Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.

What do you call a wheelchair on fire?

Hot wheels.

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?

Christopher Reeves in a house fire.

A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.

The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.

Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."

Last night I burned down an orphanage.

There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"

Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"

The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:

"Fire!"