Fired jokes

How do rappers stay warm in the winter?

They drop FIRE TRACKS.

Why was the gay boy fired from the sperm bank?

He was caught embezzling.

A girl kept looking through the window whilst the boys got changed!

I, as a boy, was getting annoyed, so I found an interesting magazine in the corner. So, what did I do? Reload and fire!

Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.

Wood fired pizza?

How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O

Please drop a like.

I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!

I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"

"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.

The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"

Alternative punchline:

"I had to call social services, she was only 14."

Why did the female dicktator get fired? She had too much dick!

Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?

He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.

I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled, "Hot wheels!"

What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?

Hot Wheels.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.

Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

My aunt worked as a human cannonball.

I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels.

What's the difference between me and a bus?

I'm not on fire...

9/11 2001... that day was fire🔥

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I was about to change my password to Fire-Fist Ace... but apparently it was too weak.