Fired jokes

Friend

    • My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

  • 2

    • Contract

    • ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

    Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

    Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

    Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

    I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

  • 1
    • Fired memes

    Butcher

    • I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"

    "What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.

    The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"

    Alternative punchline:

    "I had to call social services, she was only 14."

  • 0

    • Firefighter

    • Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

  • 1

    • Boy

    • Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?

    He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

  • 4

    • Fire

    • Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.

    Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.