Fired jokes
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."
What do you call a disabled person in a fire?
"HOT WHEELS!"
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo inside you?
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
Q: What song were the pilots of 9/11 listening to? A: 'So Let's Set The World On Fire.'
My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
What’s black and at the top of a stair case?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."