Fired jokes
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
Apex Legends: exists.
Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."
My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."
What do you call a disabled person in a fire?
"HOT WHEELS!"
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
What’s black and at the top of a stair case?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
Because he got fired!
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
What do all rangas have in common?
They all look like wildfires.