Fired Jokes

9/11 2001... that day was fire🔥

I was about to change my password to Fire-Fist Ace... but apparently it was too weak.

What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?

Reload and keep firing!

Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing with the bent one.

Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?

Her sister is a real Dess-ember!

Crit especially if you are a rouge

The image is a two-panel meme. The left panel shows a red dragon breathing fire. The text reads "An ancient being capable of flying and breathing fire." The right panel shows a 20-sided die with the number 20 facing up. The text reads "One critical boi". Above both images, it asks "Who would win?"

Them: What's on your arm?

Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)

What do you call a wheelchair on fire?

Hot wheels.

I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.

I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

Why did the man put himself on fire?

To BURN Calories.

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.

Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Wood-fired pizza.

How would pizza get a job now?

What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?

Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.

What do you call Stephen Hawking's toes on fire?

Hot Wheels.

ENTER PASSWORD.

WRONG.

RESET PASSWORD.

NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.

Sets fire to computer.

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

What do fire and people have in common?

They will both eventually die out.

I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣

Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?

Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.

A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.

The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.

Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.