Fired jokes
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.
Memes
I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I was about to change my password to Fire-Fist Ace... but apparently it was too weak.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
9/11 2001... that day was fire🔥
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
What do you call Stephen Hawking's toes on fire?
Hot Wheels.
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣