Fired jokes
I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
What do you call a wheelchair kid that is on fire?
Hot Wheels.
When you name yourself "Twin Towers" and the terrorist in Kahoot.
Twin Towers are on fire.
The terrorist has a streak of two.
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
What is black and at the top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
What do you call a gay kid on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.
Demon: Why you sad?
Guy: I’m in hell, can’t you see?
Demon: Well, we have fun here at hell.
Guy: Really? Nice.
Demon: We do sleeping in on Mondays.
Guy: OoOoOo
Demon: Tuesdays we swim in our lava or dive in fire. If you die, you’re already dead ☠️
Guy: Ok, does that mean I’m a ghost?
Demon: No, you're not a ghost.
Demon: Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺
Guy: Ooooooo, I can’t wait 😜
Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die, and you're already dead, remember that?
Guy: Ok, but I am dead, and if I die again, I was already dead, right?
Demon: Yup.
Demon: I have a question: Are you gay, and do you like kissing fire girls, and if you die, you are already dead?
Guy: Ummm, I am not gay, and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱
Demon: Then you won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday, heheh.
Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell 🪦🏴☠️☠️☠️💀
Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now.
2001/9/11, that day was fire.