Fired jokes
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Sets fire to computer.
I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."
What's black and found on top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
Because he got fired!
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.
What do you call a disabled person in a fire?
"HOT WHEELS!"
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."
The only thing brighter than my cuteness is the fire on the Twin Towers.
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a few hours. Light him on fire, he'll be warm the rest of his life.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?
A firecracker.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.