What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain"
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire HOTWHEELS
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
Apparently I'm not aloud home house fires, but the neighbours their house burnt lovely
somebody shouts "fire!"
man1 - get the children out man2 - f*** the children man3 - we dont have time
what is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire
answer: Hot wheels...
well i got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep then my step bro got home and i did not know and hours later i woke up my pants were down and my butt was on fire
You're the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral
Boss: You're fired. Me: *pauses porn* Why?
What does Kobe and the Twin towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing
Wow that was explosive!
Man I'm on fire 🔥 today
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels
I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? - A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? - he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words... - “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance... - only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours... - lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
Next: Inappropriate Jokes
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.
Pokemon
What do you call a gay barbeque?
LGTBBQ
I went to the local butchers and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says "I had to fire her too"
Alternative punchline:
I had to all social services, she was only 14
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
A child determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
Be careful around fire plastic melts
