Finance jokes

I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.

How did the Java programmer's son get rich?

Because of inheritance.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What is the capital of Greece? -- About 10 dollars.

I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.

I used to be a banker...

But then I lost interest.

What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?

A millionheir.

My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.