Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.
The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.
A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money.
Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole.
The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money.
The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money, you worthless old fart?”
Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?
Only when they file jointly.
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.
(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)
My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
The bank said go to the river bank. Oh, oh, oh, good fishy joke!
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
