Feel Jokes

I feel bad for Shopping Carts there allwaze being pushed around

Confucius say:

"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."

Why does the nucleus feel trapped? Because it’s inside a cell!

Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.

Home Covid Test.

1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.

2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.

3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.

Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.

I am so nervous.

Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam

Doctor: Yup

Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger

Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor

I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately...”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.

My friend was feeling low today so I went up to her and said "You know I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life" I don't think she likes me now

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.

What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a Megabyte and some micro chips.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I am reading a horror book in braille.

Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!

My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.

Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"