The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
Your walking on the street when you realised that your in the road as you feel the horn dying away.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
Why does the heart ♥️ listen to music 🎶 a lot? Because it loves feeling the beat.
There is a young lady.. She is beatiful. She got much vote. But she speech very fast. Does she think look smart with do that? She make me feel bad.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress I guess :D
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
dad: hey son do you like Christmas? 12 year old me: yeah! dad: well how would you feel about two me: what?
When fat people smash it must feel like a huge submarine hitting u
When your exercising and you feel the “gush”
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
what goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isnt sexual ( insulin ) for more of these jokes go to diabeticjokeswww.foralaugh.com
How did stephan Hawking died? He did have enough room for anymore ram on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that
why did the cookie go to the hospital because it felt crummy
Deja Vat: the feeling that you’ve heard that bad joke before
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
