Feed jokes

How many potatoes to feed the elephant?

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

Why can’t orphans eat breakfast? Because there is no parent to feed them.

What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?

One can feed a family.

Why does nobody talk to the letter G?

Because it's always in the middle of awkward!

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."

What did an Arab say to feed his kid?

'Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second airplane!'

How does a terrorist feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane."

This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."

What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.

Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.

He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.

Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.

Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.

Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.

Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.

"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."

Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"

What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?

The baby you just feed nails to.

I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."

What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?

Octopie!

There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.

She really hates it when I spit my food back out.

Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)

I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).

I gathered some "slapies."

The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!

I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!

I feed it to them!

They overreacted!

Please leave a comment.

Bye!

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the airplane!"

How do you know your baby is dead?

It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.

Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!

The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!