Feed jokes
Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!
Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
Why can’t orphans eat breakfast? Because there is no parent to feed them.
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Memes
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
What did an Arab say to feed his kid?
'Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second airplane!'
How does a terrorist feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane."
How do terrorists feed their babies?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
Why does nobody talk to the letter G?
Because it's always in the middle of awkward!
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?
Octopie!
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.