Feed jokes

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the airplane!"

Johnny Johnny?

Yes pa pa.

Eating sugar?

Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.

What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL

He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.

How do Taliban parents feed their babies?

"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"

Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?

A dead baby can't feed a family.

What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.

How do I feed the baby with my pants on?

When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.

There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.

When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”

The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”

He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”

So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."

And then I feed him my dick.

There were three men, and two of them died.

The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"

That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.

What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?

My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.

Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.