Fear jokes
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
Why are lamps so scared? Because someone might throw them away.
"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."
I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.
I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????
Nope. I'm moving to Japan.
KONNICHIWA
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
Memes
Why doesn’t Chuck Norris flush the toilet?
He doesn’t have to, he scares the shit out of the toilet.
I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.
Why is 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?
'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
I'm evilest-evil man.
"Yes, you are," scared guy.
No, me, it me: Evil super evil boy!
Why are cows 🐮 so big? To scare babies 👶.
What is the biggest fear of firefighters?
Burnout at work.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.
"Why don't skeletons go skydiving?"
"Because they don't have the guts... or the parachute!"
Why is 10 afraid?
Because he next to 9 and 11.
Your hairline is so far, too far, even dark humored jokes are scared of it.