Fear jokes
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
What do you call Kevin with no beef?
Chicky.
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
Memes
so you have chosen...death
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.