What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
Fear Jokes
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no balls to do it.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
What do you call Kevin with no beef?
Chicky.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
Why was 10 afraid? Because he was 'tween 9 and 11.
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.
