Fear jokes
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
What do you call Kevin with no beef?
Chicky.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no balls to do it.
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
Why is 10 always afraid?
Because it is between 9 and 11.
You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
Why was 10 afraid? Because he was 'tween 9 and 11.
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows...