Fear jokes
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
Me: I will rape you!
Woman: NOOOOOO!!! I AM TOO SCARED TO GET "RAPED"!
Why do women be like this?
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He scares the shit out of it.
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?
Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.