Fear jokes
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Friend: I got bit.
Other friend: By what?
Friend: A dog.
Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered sex offender.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
What did the chicken say to the turkey?
Nothing, he chickened out!
Why did the skeleton not cross the road?
Because it did not have the guts.
Goats are like mushrooms.
If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
I wanna go to Antarctica, but then I got cold feet.
There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."
What is the best type of snake?
A dead one.
I have two eyes and am afraid of sex.
A Fortnite player.
Why didn’t the construction worker build a bridge?
He was scared to get across.
Why didn't the skeleton follow his dreams? He was too gutless.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"