Fear jokes
Your hairline is so messed up, it made Jeffrey Dahmer cry.
Yo mama so ugly that she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
Roses are red. Violets are blue, when a sumo saw you, he peed his pants.
Why are New Yorkers scared of airplanes?
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered sex offender.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
Why was 10 scared?
Because he was in between 6 and 9.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Why was ten scared?
It was in the middle of 9/11.