Fear jokes
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
Your hairline is so far back, even Shaggy and Scooby ran away!
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
Your hairline is so messed up, it made Jeffrey Dahmer cry.
Yo mama so ugly that she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
Roses are red. Violets are blue, when a sumo saw you, he peed his pants.
Why are New Yorkers scared of airplanes?
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered sex offender.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
Why was 10 scared?
Because he was in between 6 and 9.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.