How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
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The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hitler!
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.
Man #2: My son died at level 4.
Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.
Joseph: No, they don't.
Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.
Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
