Father jokes

Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?

Nemo goes back to his father.

My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."

My great-great-great grandpa killed Hitler.

A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.

I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."

While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!

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The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.

Why do orphans go to church so much?

So they can have someone to call father.

Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"

Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?

Father Christmas left them.

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.