Fat jokes
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
Yo mama so fat, when she went sky diving everyone screamed "METEOR!!!"
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
What do you call a fat duck?
Donald Duck.
What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?
The "curry muncher 2000."
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
Levi and Andrew are fat.
Yo mama so fat, she curves space and time.
Your mamma's so fat, the aliens call her their mother ship!
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
Joe mama's so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it’s still printing!
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”
I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018