Fat jokes
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”
I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018
Yo mama so fat that when she farted, Big Shaq took off his jacket.
Your momma's so fat that she is the Earth!
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus!
Yo mama so fat that she needs her belly button to beat her home by 15 min.
The chicken is so fat.
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
NASA is big fat poo 💩 no🍱🍠🥮🧀🍘🧀.
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.
I love eating Hisoka's big, fat, juicy c*ck.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...
Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."