Fast jokes
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
Wanna hear the car joke?
Nah, it's too fast for you.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."
I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.
Lewandowski is so fast because whoever would think of adding an engine to him is a genius!
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
What is Beyonce's favorite fast food chain?
dairy QUEEEEEEENNNN!
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"
The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"
The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."
They ask who, "The President?"
"No, more important."
"The president of another country?"
"No, more important."
"An ambassador?"
"No, even more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
What do you call a fast Panera Bread?
Panera Sped.
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.
Wash your hands.
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.