Farm jokes
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
- The Milky Way!
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".