Farm jokes
You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
Why did the cow knock over Johnny?
Because the cow felt like to dumb.
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.
What’s the cow's favorite place to go? The moovies!
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
Chicken
Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Why did the chicken cross the road to go away?
What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?
It's white and it's brown.