Farm jokes
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
Memes
Hor- wait what the hell is that
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.