Farm jokes
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
What's the difference between a cow and a pig?
One is a pig.
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.
What do cows read? The moospaper!
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
moo.
So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?
I lick cows for my mother.