Farm

Farm jokes

Cock

A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.

Shepherd

Why do shepherds never learn to count?

Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.

Farmer

What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?

One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.

Memes

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.

Join us for more of the story, after the break!

Hoe

What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?

A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."

Cow

What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.

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  • Cow

    Why did the cow jump over the moon?

    Because the farmer had cold hands!

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  • Cow

    What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)

    Woman

    Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.

    Rooster

    A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?

    Roosters don't lay eggs.