Farm jokes
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.