Farm jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
What do you call a Mexican rooster?
Un gallo pelón.
Like if you blow male cows?
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.
And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.
And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?
It's white and it's brown.
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
What do sheep hate?
Their enemies: goats!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What kind of cow has 2 legs?
YOUR MOM!!
You
You
You're the cow.
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
What did the cow say at night? Look at the moooon.