Farm jokes
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
You
You
You're the cow.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the “utter” side.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody likes that joke.
Why did the chicken cross the road, when it should stay on a farm?
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the fool's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.