Farm jokes
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
Shep
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
Two windmills were standing in a wind farm. One asked, "What's your favorite type of music?" The other one replied... "I'm a big metal fan."
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.
What do you call a funny cow?
A cowmedian.
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer.
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.