Farm jokes
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose!
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
Hor- wait what the hell is that
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
Cow A: I slept with your sister!
Cow B: Never knew my brother was a girl!
All the other cows:
:O
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
What is a cow on two legs?
Yo mama!
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Are you chicken me????!!!!
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.