Farm jokes
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
LEAN BEEF!
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the fool's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Co- MOO!
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^