Fantasy jokes
So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.
I got kicked out of a library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.
What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
Knock knock.
Who's there? It's the Grim Reaper.
Grim Reaper who?
The Grim Reaper who is about to come in your house, smoke some weed, drink some Grim Reaper liquor, and then get drunk.
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Never lands.
Dwarf Shortage.
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking... J.K. Rowling.
I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"
He called the cops.
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
I went, I saw, I poop at hole. I make a portal.
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.