Fantasy jokes
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
What does a Hufflepuff wolf say? “I will huffle and puff, and blow your house down!”
That is related to Harry Potter 🧙🏼♂️.
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
What do you call a magic car?
A human.
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
Kid finds genie lamp, wishes to be Batman.
Genie: You're now an orphan.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.
For all the Harry Potter fans:
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