Family jokes

A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.

The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"

What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"

your mom

What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.

What do you call a grown-up orphan? Homeless.

Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.

Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.

My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}

What do vacuums and your mom have in common?

They both suck.

Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

Sum ting wong.

Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?

Because momma never raised no pussy.

The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.

Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.

I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.

You dirty-minded bastard!

You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.

My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

Many years of sex in the dark.

The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"

The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"

"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."

The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"

The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."

"What about the boy?" the woman asked.

The doctor said, "Denephew."