Family jokes
I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.
Onions was a good dog.
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.
Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.
Bully (😡): NO!
Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???
Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
Why are orphans never in jail?
Because they're never wanted.
Ur mum gay.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?
Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.
Why can orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home plate.
What’s the difference between Apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
Your mum's got big tits.
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...