Family jokes
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.
Dad: Would you like to talk about it?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.
Son: I can't, my butt hurts.
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"
Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.
Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......
Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.
Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."
Students: "oof"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Yeah, your parents."
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.