Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
Your adopted.
I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.
Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.
I cried when my dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
your mom
