Family

Family jokes

Pregnancy

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

Self Harm

My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.

Memory

A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.

Orphan

What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?

They are both nowhere to be found.

Dark Humor

Kid: "What's dark humor?"

Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."

Kid: "I am blind, Mom."

Mom: "Exactly."

Orphan

Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?

Cause that's the only way they get love.

Mommy

Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.

Dream Job

Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."

My friends: "What's your dream job?"

Me: "I'm going to die young :))"

Tootsie Roll

I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...

Fat

Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.

Pregnancy

What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.