My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.
Family Jokes
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Spider-Man: No Way Home.
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
All orphans must be gay because they are not home o'fobic.
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
