Family jokes
"I AM NOT PETER GRIFFIN!"
Why do orphans play with boomerangs?
Because they come back.
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
If you’re bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do an orphan's parents and Nemo have in common?
They both can't be found.
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...
Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
When you are bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Call their parents?
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
Why do I f*** my mom?
Like father like son. #batabababa
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."
Why do orphans play GTA?
To make them feel wanted.
Me: I will f**k ur mom.
Orphan: I don't have one.
Me: ......
Louie being born.
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.