Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
All orphans must be gay because they are not home o'fobic.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Spider-Man: No Way Home.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
