Family jokes
Hi guys, jokes for sister.
So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎤😎
My mom told me to get a job, so I did.
One day my mom saw me, I had money. My mom asked me where did you get that money? My mom asked me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom asked me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the guys come and see you one by one, and I get paid for it.
My mom said you're growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see you in the shower.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they can't find home or return it.
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.
I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.
Why don't orphans have iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
What is an orphan's hated movie line?
E.T. phone home.