An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.
Why canβt kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no oneβs looking for them.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOLπ€£
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, itβs because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol manβs hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
Your adopted.
I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
