Family jokes

Q: Why do orphans hate Fast and Furious movies?

A: Because they say "family" too often.

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."

You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?

Jose and Hose B.

Why can't orphans have an iPhone?

They can't find the home button.

Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?

He could never get a home run.

Why are orphans gay?

They call everyone "daddy."

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.

Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.

What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?

A dog gets adopted.

So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn’t actually tell me the joke... I was the joke. 😭😭😭😔😔😔😒😒😒

What’s fat, brown, and has no dad?

Ama

Ur dad is gay!

Omg! I didn't mean that. Please don't tell ur mom.

I'm so so so sry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

"Know, know how there."

"Lesh, lesh how can you at lesh remember my name?"

So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.

Why can't orphans go on school field trips?

Parent signature________________

Orphans are so vulnerable; they have no parents to tell. - Masai

Why can orphans only have iPhones 14s? Because they can't have a home button.