Family jokes

Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?

Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?

Because momma never raised no pussy.

I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!

Note to self.

When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".

Google "cream pie recipes".

What do you call children born from incest?

Gross Domestic Product.

I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.

There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."

I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...

Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.

Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.

What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?

Daddy.

What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?

Adopt Me.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.

Q. What movie represents an orphan's life?

A. Spiderman: No Way Home.

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?

Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.

What does an imouto ride?

Onii-san.

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"

"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."

The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"

The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."

"What about the boy?" the woman asked.

The doctor said, "Denephew."