Family Jokes

I like telling dad jokes.

He laughs at most of them.

I have so many orphan jokes im afraid most of them wont hit home.

what's a penguin's favourite relative?

Aunt Arctic

Q. What type of flour do orphans get? A. Self-raising flour

Why did the silly boy 👦 take the Christmas tree 🎄 to a barber?

Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.

What does a transgender call his/her parent? Transparent.

Once my dad left to get milk then I realized we own a cow.

You know those paper families you cut out? Well I put one of those in an orphanage.

Girl 1: Dad, why is my name rose? Dad: because a rose landed on your head. Girl 2: Hey dad, why is my name daisy? Dad: because a daisy landed on your head. Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr! Dad: Oh, Hey Brick!

Why wouldn’t Mrs Grapes 🍇 leave her children behind?

Because she loves raisin kids.

At school, bobby boy's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "why are you crying". Bobby says "someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die". His mom looks him straight in the eye and says "depends, which one are you referring to?"

Why ate orphans so Skinny? Thry never eat anything tjat is family size

Incest is wincest (That was above) Fun for the whole family! Next of kin, count me in!

the whole solar system is one big family right? but everyone circles the SON.

I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...

Allahu Akbar!

There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-

Dad and Mom: we don't want him

Orphan: And I took that, Personally-

My credit card is more declined the the love from my dad

A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”