Family

Family jokes

Children

Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?

Orphan

I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Boy

Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?

Because momma never raised no pussy.

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  • Memes

    Note

    Note to self.

    When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".

    Google "cream pie recipes".

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  • Mom

    This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

    Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

    Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

    Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!

    Kid

    What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

    Sum ting wong.

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  • War

    I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.

    He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.

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  • Monopoly

    I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.

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  • Name

    There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

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  • Brick

    There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."

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  • Pill

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.

    Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.

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  • Wish

    A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

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