My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
Q. What movie represents an orphan's life?
A. Spiderman: No Way Home.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
Why did Billy fall off his bike?
Because his dad threw a chair at him.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.
Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."
Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."
Students: "oof"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Yeah, your parents."
Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!
Orphan: You will?
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
My grandma asked me if I could visit her.
I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.
Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."
Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"
Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"
