My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
Family Jokes
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Why did Billy fall off his bike?
Because his dad threw a chair at him.
Q. What movie represents an orphan's life?
A. Spiderman: No Way Home.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.
Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."
Students: "oof"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Yeah, your parents."
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
