Family jokes

What do you call your kids?

Mom, I’m pregnant.

Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.

I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.

Yo mama so fat, she is fat.

Your mom is a mom!

How many fat people are in my house?

20, counting the kids in the basement.

Why don't orphans do homework?

They don't have a home to do it in.

I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.

Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

*The next day*

Uncle: F*CK!

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

When is Father's Day?

Nine months before Mother's Day.

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Tennis because it's the only love they'll get.

Your mom gay.

I remember my grandma's last words:

"What are you doing with that axe?"

Child: I am hungry.

Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!

Child: *groans* *walks away*

Hey dad, I'm hungry!

Hi hungry, I'm dad. Why did you name me this way, why why why?

What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?

"I love you Twoson."

Why can't an orphan go on away games?

Their parent will never show up!

Why did the orphan not play baseball? Because he couldn't find home.

Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"